The Coupon

Working in any industry that involves interaction with other human beings usually leads to a lot of stupid questions that one must deal with. At the restaurant industry it is common for us to expect that once guests enter the building, they usually have left their brains in the car (if they even had them in the first place). So I guess tonight should not have surprised me, but alas a fellow earthling of mine proves me wrong.
As I take a couple's order this evening, the man suddenly dons a face of excitement and quickly shuffles through his wallet. As I await for him to announce to his woman friend that he actually DID bring a condom tonight, he instead pulls out a Charleston's coupon for a free appetizer. He looks at me and says, "ever seen one of these before?" with a bemused look on his face as if he was showing me a rare diamond. "Well sir, it IS a Charleston's coupon and I just happen to work at Charleston's. So yes, I have seen these coupons for 2 damn years. So keep in mind that when I take the $10 off your check that I still had to bring it to you which means it needs to be accounted for in the tip." Of course none of this happened and I got 15% on the final bill. Next time I will bring you the free spinach dip and you don't even need a coupon for it...it comes in a bowl but you can't see it. Just imagine it is there like I imagine putting a rope around your neck because I made $7 in one shift.
Final Words: When a couple breaks up it should be noted that the separate parties are to go to their original bars and stay away from the ex's. You can start dating a Victoria's Secret Supermodel or Mother Theresa but don't hang out in MY bar. I drank many a night to earn my status there so don't ruin all those nights I blacked out to prove you can get another girlfriend. I get it, I am proud of you, now go drink somewhere else.