The Men

You want to know why women pounce on men and talk about marriage and babies after a third date? Because finding a respectable man is like finding out your not pregnant, complete relief and utter joy. (For you man readers-it's like finding out your not the baby daddy, complete relief and utter joy.) The following are examples of why women perceive men to be inconsiderate assholes in general. (Yes, I know there are good guys out there but you have to admit, there are a lot of classless jerks lurking all over the place, ready to destroy women's confidence and brag to their male friends about how "she wasn't that hot anyway"). And these are not based on bitter dating experiences. These are men just running around pissing me off.
1. Last night a party of three sits at the bar top. There is a couple with a perceived single man (this becomes apparent why he would be single later). They are all around their late 40's to early 50's. I get their first round of drinks out and hand them a menu. When they request an appetizer I put it in for them. The couple is familiar, I know I have seen them before and they seem nice. The single man loudly announces he will handle the bill tonight, so make sure to give it to him. Sign one that he is a tool. Wow, you're going to buy a dinner? How amazing of you, your mom must be proud. The night progresses, they order salads, dinner, and have a continuous flow of drinks being brought to them. Single man feels the need to order his male friend's beer for him every time I bring him a drink as well. This is starting to annoy me because the friend is only half way through his beer and I can tell single man is under the assumption that I am a bad bartender. At the end of the night, single man decides he needs one more drink for the road (oh yes older women love DUI's). So he shakes his glass at me and says "I'll have another one (exaggerated pause to make sure I know,) crown and water." Oh really? No shit asshole, this is your sixth drink and they have all been the same, thanks for the update. After issuing him the check, he puts cash down on the counter and I hear the couple ask, "Are you sure you got this?" He chuckles like he is some fucking Bill Gates millionaire and says, "Oh yeah."
The dick left me $120 to pay his $113.80 tab. Impressive, maybe now you can go take your Match.com date to dinner and ask her to pay the bill because that would make you look like less of a loser than leaving a bartender less than 10% of a tip.
2. As I am driving to pick my dad up to take him out for his birthday lunch today, I pass through a shopping strip. I am going 8-10 mph but being cautious to look for walkers. I hate when cars don't stop to let people pass. You are sitting on your ass, would you mind waiting two seconds while I cross the street. So on the left is Big Lots, on the right the parking lot. This man comes bolting out of the store with a cart. Literally he is running with an empty cart to the parking lot. i have two choices, slam on my brakes and still be past the point of letting him cross, or keep going. I keep going because I am already too far to let him go since he decided to run towards me. He slows up and yells, "Oh don't let me get in your way. Fucking asshole." No joke the guy said this to me. My window was down and like I said I wasn't going fast. As I slammed on the brake, I again confronted a dilemma. Do I reverse and show him what would happen if he had gotten in my way or do I jump out of the car and ask him if his mother ever taught him not to run in parking lots? I guess being outside of Big Lots, I should expect this but let me tell you something, I know women can be bad drivers and I have cut people off or done stupid driving things before, this man was wrong and he was a tool. Does it make you feel better to yell at a 5'2'' 22 year old? Well I hope so because you looked like a moron.
3. This one is brief. I went to the gym on Monday and as I walked up to the door, an older man was reaching the door about 20 feet before I was. It was an awkward distance, he would have to stand there and wait in order to hold the door, but not long, maybe 5-6 seconds. As he reaches the door, he looks back at me and honestly, barely opens the door and squeezes his beer gut in. I am not kidding. What the hell is the matter with you men? I'm not asking you to carry me to the front door or even say hello, just OPEN THE DOOR. You have two hands that can do more than console you after you've been rejected by another woman (probably because you had no manners).
Final Words: I am going to my first NHL game tonight. I am debating if I should color a tooth out and purchase a WWE wrestle mania shirt to better fit in.